The Melody of Innocence

Tuesday, April 01, 2008

You didn't reply back my SMS-es that night. I thought you didn't care anymore and got tired of those same words. But I was wrong. You used actions instead of words to show that you still cared for me. You could have gone back home to rest more even after waking up at 5am in the morning, yet you still chose to accompany me, knowing that I was upset about not being able to meet you. You kissed and hugged me, more than usual, knowing how much I love to do so.

I think I know why you didn't reply me that night. You didn't want to tell me that my SMS had hurt you. It has happened so many times. You probably figured that words don't work anymore. Instead through your actions, you wanted me to reflect on my behavior, about how I selfishly threw my emotions at you without considering your feelings. You probably felt hurt because I thought you were that kind of guy that I had mentioned in the SMS.

But your actions proved me wrong. And I now only realize how wrong I am. I regret ever saying those words to you. I'm sorry. You've always loved me the way that I am, back then and even up till now. But I thought otherwise. I'm so sorry to hurt you that much. T_T I still love you as much. Others may not see you as someone important like I do, but to me, you're my treasure that Heaven gave to me. I'll never let you go, even after you go in the army. I'll wait for you, no matter what.

Waiting for the day that you will come and take me as your bride..

The Melody was Played at
4:31 PM

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Hehe.. I finally got back my exam results on Monday! I wasn't expecting such good grades, but I still did anyways! =D

Here are the results:

Electronic Commerce B
Facilities Planning and Design B+
Global Logistics Management B
I&E in Action (Environment) Pass
Quality Management A
Supply Chain Management B+

Hehe.. Not bad eh.. I thought I was gonna get at least a 'C' for my E-com paper. It was damn difficult lehs! Gosh.. But thanks to this kind of result, I got a 3.4 GPA! Haha.. Just here to tell how WELL I've done for my exams. xD I'll update whenever I feel like it.

The Melody was Played at
1:56 PM

Saturday, March 01, 2008

Man, I hate this day. Everything's been going wrong.. Had a quarrel with sister who has practically no manners towards my mother. Who does she think she is?! Shouting at my mother like as if she was her maid. Should have just slapped her, grabbed her hair and drag her across the floor! Damn her!! Don't think that just because you were born 3 years older than me that I will have to respect you. There's no such thing in my world. You want respect? Earn it! Arrgh!

Ran out of the house after screaming at sister. I called SW. He was busy playing games. I was pissed off and upset. After hearing my quarrel in the house, he still acts nonchalently. Right. So now I'm not worth listening to. So I should just drop dead. I felt like no one cared about my feelings. Not at all. wth. I hung up the call, telling him to play his game. Smsed him, saying that I hated him for not caring at all. Cried all the way to his house. He wasn't at home. Crap. I felt even worse now. When he finally came back, which was around 30 minutes later, he seemed alright. He even commented on how his monkey (in the game) had turned from orange to white. (-.-)

Everything seemed to be getting better as the day passed by. I went to touch the remaining living hamster (used to have 2 other hamsters. But they died, under unforeseen circumstances). Guess what happened? It turned around, jumped and bit my finger for 2 whole seconds! Wth! Now everyone and everything is going against me. Right. So it's suppose to be 'Hate-Esther- Day'.

The rest of the day went by, WITHOUT any misfortune befalling upon me. SW sent me home after watching Jacky Wu's show. What happens after is the worst thing I ever experienced. I was going to sleep when he told me that that one sms hurt him. A LOT. I had forgotten about that sms, and I felt very guilty. I knew that I was always throwing my temper at him, treating him like a punching bag. I knew all of these. But I still commit the same mistake. I cried until my head painfully throbbed throughout my sleep. I really can't forgive myself. I keep telling myself not to hurt him. But I still do, time after time. I'm such a lousy girlfriend... I think I'm going crazy with all hurtful words flashing through my mind. I deserve such a plight. Crap. I should just stay away from everyone. I bite at everyone, even those close to me. Damn me. Don't wish to talk anymore..

The Melody was Played at
11:30 PM

Saturday, November 17, 2007

IN REMEMBRANCE OF HAM HAM

She is the cutest, greediest and most tame hamster I've ever had.

She always drinks her water loudly, bite the fences and run the noisy wheel at night.. but that's okay. Because she is my little piggy.

Everytime I go to sw's house, the first thing I would do is to look for Ham Ham. She would either be sleeping under the wheel or in her house, eating or cleaning herself. When I peer into her cage, she would look at me and walk over to the side of the cage to smell and lick my finger..

She was my only friend when SW wasn't around. She would tickle her whiskers at my neck. She would clean her hand whenever I hold her. She would clean herself when I hold her upside down (such a lazy piggy). She was the joy and laughter in that house, to me and him..

But now she is gone.. Without a goodbye kiss, lick or bite.. T_T How I miss those days just being with her..

__[Goodbye Ham Ham..]__

The Melody was Played at
10:01 AM